Rate this poem i wrote...?

Accidentaly just posted in 'fashion and accessories' oops! Lol... so here it is.

... 1-10 would be LOVELY but it doesnt really matter.

All I want to know is if it seems confusing to anyone else... It's for my freshman genre class.... it was a description assighnment. :) Due tomorrow, im kinda nervrous. Anyway,

Its about the painting, girl in a blue armchair by cassat. here's a link :

http://www.nga.gov/cgi-bin/pimage?61102+...

POEM:

Girl In A Blue Armchair

She could feel the anger boiling through her-

A streak of rebellion in a young life of forced compromise.

They said she didn閳ユ獩 have a choice,

That she didn閳ユ獩 have a say in something like this,

But she knew she did-

And so she sat.

She plopped down on the chair and held still,

Arm propped up behind her head,

Shielding her from the sharp poke of the couch閳ユ獨 buttons

Against the clips perfectly hidden beneath her heavy

mop of dark wavy hair,

They were the only thing holding it up,

But she would pull them out.

The left arm was slung carelessly across the armrest

Of the tacky too-old armchair,

Which scratched at her knees because her dress was

crumpled up,

And she knew the wrinkles were going to set in,

And her mother would threaten to no longer press her clothes,

If they were just going to end up looking like

They had been though a machine-

But she didn閳ユ獩 care,

She let it stay that way.

And didn閳ユ獩 even think about crossing her legs.

Her eyes were frustrated, uncooperative brown beads,

Staring with malice at the dead, gray-green floor.

She wanted to say it matched the furniture well enough,

Highlighting the coarse, fibrous patches of color

amidst the sea of blue cloth,

But they didn閳ユ獩.

She felt alone in this unfinished house,

With it閳ユ獨 empty tan walls, and clear, curtain-less windows.

She felt alone without part of her family,

When it was just her living in her grandmother閳ユ獨 house,

Because she had stolen the money from

Her father閳ユ獨 wallet,

And used it to buy the new pair of socks She had wanted for so long.

But had never been allowed.

To her now, they were just the same as the other

hideous, worthless pieces of cloth that were forced upon her feet.

PS... I WILL CHOOSE A BEST ANSWER :)

Rate this poem i wrote...?

I like your poem for the most part, but I was confused by a few things. I wasn't familiar with the painting and read the poem first. From the poem I was picturing the girl as a teenager because of some of the emotions expressed. I would think a little girl's anger would be more of a temper tantrum rather than deep feelings of rebellion and anger. I also didn't understand why the mother is ironing her clothes if she lives with the grandmother. It seems extreme that the parents would send the little girl away for stealing money for socks. Maybe she could be just visiting the grandmother rather than living there? Also, you might find a way to work the dog into your narrative. This is all just meant as constructive criticism! I really like all the detail you go into, especially the part about the buttons on the chair and pins in her thick hair, etc. When writing I always find it helps to do something else for a couple of hours, then come back to it so that I can take a fresh look. Good luck!

Rate this poem i wrote...?

But that doesn't make any sense, because you wrote "Accidentaly just posted in 'fashion and accessories' oops! Lol" and you can edit that, so that doesn't make sense

Rate this poem i wrote...?

I would give your poem a 10!

Its wonderful! It uses such descriptive and rich language, and you can visualize almost every line in the poem. I think you definitley have a gift for writing. That's a great thing...I'm always envious of people who can write poetry. I only write short stories, and have always wanted to be able to write even ONE poem like you just wrote.

Keep on writing and don't let anyone discourage you! You have a talent and you should use it!

Rate this poem i wrote...?

the link doesn't show a pic. could you repost the link so i could see the pic.?

Rate this poem i wrote...?

your poem is greaT! i love it especially because it has such a deep meaning and it really gets to you i really love the part where it goes Highlighting the coarse, fibrous patches of color

amidst the sea of blue cloth, you have very descriptive language and that a key part of a poem i really like it a lot!

Rate this poem i wrote...?

pretty good. i write emo poems and stuff like this all the time...

but it's really cool. not confusing at all....

Rate this poem i wrote...?

It was pretty good, but I couldn't quite grasp what the point was. I write songs and poetry as well. I don't go into that kind of detail. It also helps if you don't try to make lyrics or "lines" perfect. Just let it flow out. And you'll see how amazing it is when you're finished!!

~Penguin~

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the link doesn't work....and if u accidental posted on here...wouldn't u be saying ta ht on extended detail..CZ wear u wrote it it was be for u choose the section..............?

Rate this poem i wrote...?

That was pretty good. You used a lot of detail and that really made the picture come to life. I liked how it ended, but maybe you could put a sentence that would kind of leave the reader hanging. it was really good though.

9/10

Rate this poem i wrote...?

10! Its really descriptive. Wayy better than what most kids in ur class will probally have. You have no reason to be nervous!

Good luck!

Rate this poem i wrote...?

10 BRAVO I REALLY LIKE IT GOOD LUCK IN CLASS

PS It is real and touching and so beautiful